To understand human behavior on any level, we must first understand humans. We, as a people, have been socialized throughout the extent of our lives, mostly subconsciously. Every single thing we have experienced and everything we have seen has had a profound effect on us and our behavior. Our experiences have molded us into the people we are today. We are truly products of our environments, as immensely cliché as that may sound. But the key to understanding human behavior however, is to dig deeper. To understand human behavior, we must first understand humans on the BROADEST level possible... as mammals. Hypothetically speaking, if we were born and immediately locked in a small room with no windows, never allowed to leave, and never allowed to interact with another human being, how would we act? We would possess the bare animalistic instincts that every human inherently possesses. The point is, the same animalistic instincts that we possessed inside that lonely, dark room, are the same instincts that are still with us to this very day... they are simply hidden. These instincts, often emerge in our daily lives and are known to come to the forefront of our being in times of survival, trauma, and you guessed it... when we are in the mood for sex!
Males and females act differently towards casual sex because of inherently different animalistic instincts. The goal of every animal on the planet is reproduction. As is the case with nearly every animal on the planet, the human male is naturally inclined to spread his seed amongst a host of different candidates (women). This is precisely why the male body works the way it does. Males produce sperm at a rate much faster than females produce eggs. Why is it much faster? Because the job of nearly every male, in any species on earth, is to spread their seed amongst a host of females at a rapid rate, to increase the odds of reproduction. Females are wired a different way, however. It is the job of the female to mate with a male, and to nurture the offspring that are produced between them. Females, in nearly every species on earth, have a natural inclination to be loyal to the male who just "seeded her up." Case closed? Not really. This is where it gets tricky.
Human beings are one of the very few species who feel pleasure while having sexual intercourse. In fact, we are one of the very species that has a body part specifically for pleasure (the clitoris on a female). What does this mean? It means that humans are more likely to desire casual sex without intention to reproduce. Both men and women yearn for the pleasure that sexual intercourse brings. This pleasure, coupled with the aforementioned animalistic instincts AND the civilized socialization that every human is exposed to produces a CRAZY dynamic. In fact, recent data shows that women are now ALMOST as sexually promiscuous as men in the United States, especially in our generation. This is exciting and scaring men all over the country simultaneously. Women have been increasing their willingness to partake in casual sex steadily over a number of years. The reason? The adoption of post-suffrage, feminist ideals has certainly played a part in the way that women are perceived in our society. The media has shaped these perceptions and the gap between the promiscuity of men and women is closing every day. Confused? Basically, women no longer need to act “lady-like” in the public eye. That’s fine by me, lady-like was played out years ago! So now we have these animalistic instincts, coupled with our ever increasing desire for pleasure, coupled with our so-called “civilized” society, coupled with the newfound promiscuity of women. WHOA. These opposing forces are constantly at war within our bodies and within our relationships with the opposite sex. Our bodies may be telling us one thing (animalistically) but our judgment may be telling us another thing (civilized socialization). The animalistic traits that we possess often win out, and we give in to our innermost animalistic desires (nature vs. nurture.. in my opinion nature wins).
For all of you women out there who think I'm crazy, or chauvinistic, READ THIS CAREFULLY: I'm not saying you should give into your animalistic desires. I'm simply saying that you should understand that men GET THESE DESIRES naturally. We could try as hard as we can to avoid these feelings, but it is embedded in our DNA... it is who we are, in the broadest form possible. A possible solution to this mayhem is what they would call "friends with benefits." Friends with benefits also known as "fuck buddies" is a term that was invented with the goal of pure sexual satisfaction and gratification in mind. It is usually a difficult situation to pull off because one party either feels used, or catches serious feelings which lead to their desire for a long term relationship. Friends with benefits only works if both parties (usually women) swallow their pride and enjoy the experience for what it is.
My final thought: As long as you are safe, responsible, and conscious about your partners feelings, there is NOTHING wrong with casual sex... especially when it's rough and satisfying.
-The Black Mamba
