Late Night TV

They know he takes Extenze ;)

It's 3:28 AM and you're laying in bed after a serious COD session and you have comedy central on so you can get some laughs in before you go to sleep. So you tune into channel 49 but commercials are on, and you don't even know what show is on right now. If you're lucky, you get the softcore porn commercial that is Girls Gone Wild. Chances are you're not that lucky cause I haven't seen them in some time. Jimmy "Best Hair in the Biz" Johnson comes on and you're all ready to see some cool football highlights or get some coaching tips or something along those lines. Thats not the case however, he's there to tell you in not so many words, that you got a baby dick and can't last in the sack, so you need the supplement Extenze to make your life better and your partner happy. Hey Jimmy, stick to coachin and analyzing football, I don't need you belittling me about what I'm "workin with". Okay, so now that commercials off and now there's all theses smokin hot broads on the tube that are apparently "in your area" and DTF RIGHT NOW! Only if you go on their website though, apparently face to face social interaction isn't the best way to meet girls anymore. Chances are though you go on the site and talk to some broad that's probably a cow and shes talkin to you on the comp for a reason (cause no one wants to fuck her if they see her first). Next up is a commercial for Long John Silver, of which there are none that come to mind in all of North Jersey and you don't even like fish. However, now you're  really fiendin for some weird seafood that's most likely all processed fish guts and whatnot. At this point you're just plain hungry so you run down to the fridge and make a massive plate of leftover Chinese food which is like heaven on a dish (bbm hearts for eyes face, bbm dancing face). You demolish that plate in a matter of 5 minutes and as you're making your way back to your room its already on its way out so you make a pit-stop in the bathroom. That should take a total of 30 seconds cause its all comes out instantly and clean so no wipe necessary (although a once over just as a safety precaution wouldn't hurt anyone). So you get back in bed and commercials are on again and this time its for some fake pizza that Papa John makes. Ok parental advisory comes on and now you're gettin excited cause you still have no clue what it is that's on. Fucking Larry the Cable Guy comes on and ruins your entire evening with his ridiculous lingo that no one understands so they laugh cause they're supposed to and you're just pissed. Boom ESPN and you turn over and go to sleep. The point? Late night/early morning tv sucks and somethin needs to be done about it. Perhaps a Guytalk4.0 channel, hmmmm.....

-Cookie Monster