Clean Ass

Something I love, shitting in the peace of my own bathroom.  Something I hate, shitting in a public bathroom.  You may think it’s the fact that it’s dirty, or there are strangers in the crapper next to me, but to be honest I could care less.  Give those toilets the ole once over with some toilet paper and you are good to go.  I’m not going to lick to seat clean when I am done and it’s just my ass cheeks resting on it so honestly who cares.  So then what’s the problem Rosay? If you don’t care about the cleanliness of the toilet or the strangers around you then why do you hate shitting in public? 

Great question! And all it takes is a simple response.  Public bathrooms don’t have baby wipes, see simple response.  No I’m not a baby and no I don’t have a kid, those wipes are used by yours truly.  For those of you out there who consistently use toilet paper to clean your ass, I have a question for you.  What the fuck are you thinking?  That’s disgusting.  You might as well not even wipe your ass.  What the hell does t.p. actually do?  You’ll get the majority off your ass but you are definitely going to have some left over shit, and probably stink a little.  This leads me to my point.  After every shit I take, ever since I was a baby, it’s been baby wipes all the time, and I’ll give you a perfect reason why.  If you accidentally get shit on your hand, whether it be yours, someone elses, your pet’s shit, etc… you definitely do not use a piece of paper towel to wipe it off and call it a day.  No shot!  You would probably freak out, and let’s be honest that’s an obvious reaction if you somehow you got your own shit or someone else’s on your hand.  Then you would walk, possibly run, to the nearest sink and violently scrub your hands with soap and water.  Why? Because that’s the clean thing to do.  Now I say if you are going to scrub your hands why wouldn’t you want to do the same with your ass?  It’s still skin isn’t it, you still don’t want to smell like shit don’t you?  Christ you dirty people, use a baby wipe to clean your ass.  Don’t be embarrassed walking through a grocery store with some Huggies wipes in your carriage because if anyone looks at you funny because you don’t have a baby with you, you can think to yourself that their ass probably stinks.

Moral of the story.  If you want a clean ass stop using toilet paper after a shit.  Buy t.p. to wipe the piss off the seat when you miss and buy baby wipes to clean yourself.

--Rosay