You're a man. Act like it.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Best Bet Sports Picks (Coming Soon)
This blog will be updated daily with free sports picks from these leagues including, but not limited to:
- NFL
- MLB
- NBA
- NHL
- Premiere League
- Boxing
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Twitter!
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@antgools
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@fast_twitch_mar
@jimrove14
@nickMAMBA
@antgools
@thehitman4hire
@philmatthew319
@real_moranimal
@fast_twitch_mar
@jimrove14
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
NFL WEEK 5 RESULTS!
NFL WEEK 5 FREE PICKS RESULTS!
WEEK RECORD 4-1
SEASON RECORD: 10-5
HIGH RISK/HIGH REWARD RECORD: 3-0 !!!
Guy Talk writers The Black Mamba and The Meat Hook have invented a full-proof system for projecting NFL football games. Their UNIQUE system gives you the best chance of correctly selecting NFL football games using spreads.
The lines used this week are from Friday 9/30/11, but barring significant injuries, the score predictions shouldn't change much. If the lines change later in the week, simply look at our scores instead of looking at the highlighted team with Friday's line and adjust accordingly!
Without further ado, we bring you this weeks "BEST BETS" (BOLD team signifies our pick)
Week 5 BEST BETS
Arizona +3 @ Minnesota LOSS
Cardinals 24 Vikings 20
San Diego -4 @ Denver WIN
Chargers 27 Broncos 20
Cincinnati +3 @ Jacksonville WIN
Bengals 16 Jaguars 10
Oakland +5 @ Houston WIN
Oakland 27 Houston 20
HIGH RISK/HIGH REWARD PICK OF THE WEEK!
New Orleans -5.5 @ Carolina WIN
Saints 27 Panthers 24
Check for results and week 6 picks next week!
WEEK RECORD 4-1
SEASON RECORD: 10-5
HIGH RISK/HIGH REWARD RECORD: 3-0 !!!
Guy Talk writers The Black Mamba and The Meat Hook have invented a full-proof system for projecting NFL football games. Their UNIQUE system gives you the best chance of correctly selecting NFL football games using spreads.
The lines used this week are from Friday 9/30/11, but barring significant injuries, the score predictions shouldn't change much. If the lines change later in the week, simply look at our scores instead of looking at the highlighted team with Friday's line and adjust accordingly!
Without further ado, we bring you this weeks "BEST BETS" (BOLD team signifies our pick)
Week 5 BEST BETS
Arizona +3 @ Minnesota LOSS
Cardinals 24 Vikings 20
San Diego -4 @ Denver WIN
Chargers 27 Broncos 20
Cincinnati +3 @ Jacksonville WIN
Bengals 16 Jaguars 10
Oakland +5 @ Houston WIN
Oakland 27 Houston 20
HIGH RISK/HIGH REWARD PICK OF THE WEEK!
New Orleans -5.5 @ Carolina WIN
Saints 27 Panthers 24
Check for results and week 6 picks next week!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
NEW POSTS!
We have been away for a while learning an inordinate amount of information on everything the world has to offer. New and improved posts are coming soon to fulfill your everyday need for laughter and excitement! Stay tuned.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Rate Your Hangover Using the Vince Vaughn Scale!
It's 6:55 AM on a Saturday. Why the fuck am I wide awake? Where the hell am I, and how did I get here? Why is my mouth so dry, and why do I feel so strangely awesome and yet on the verge of death right now?
A-HA! I'm hungover!
We've all been there. Waking up on the living room couch, feeling more or less like P. Diddy, tangled up in what seems to be a random assortment of the clothes you wore last night plus whatever blankets, magazines, and food items happened to be within reach before you finally crashed. You check your pockets: wallet. credit cards. ID. phone. keys. Drunk texts? 'Bitch, whatever! My body's intact...wish I could say the same for my reputation though.'
All's good...looks like you lived to drink another day...
Staring intensely at the pattern on the couch cushion that your face is pressed up against, you hear the soothing voice of Billy Mays for the fifth time trying to get through your thick fucking skull just how goddamn earth-shatteringly awesome Mighty Putty is. 'Do you think he OD'd on OxyClean?' you think to yourself, 'WAIT A SECOND! HOW DID I GET HOME?! I remember I drove to the bar...uh oooh...'
You jump up to check outside the window for your car, but after that first step, your head gives a nasty throb and it feels like a raccoon is trying to claw its way out of your stomach. You immediately fall to your knees in front of the TV, curling up into the fetal position, that bastard Billy Mays staring down at you condescendingly.
If only you had a way to gauge how horrible you feel right now and relate it to others! People of Earth, allow me to give that pathetic fucking existence that you like to call a 'life' some real meaning for once. Introducing: The Vince Vaughn Scale! A five-level scale of increasing intensity that will gauge exactly how fucked up your day will be, according to how fucked up you managed to get the night before. Allow the Patron Saint of Hangovers--the Marlon Brando of actors himself--Mr. Vince Vaughn to demonstrate how a MAN spends his day of recovery.
LEVEL 1 -- The Gentleman
The Night: After a good, long day at work/school and maxing out higher than ever at the gym, you thought it would be a end to a productive day if you and the boys hit the bar for some brews. Hell, that girl you just met even came out last minute and agreed to go on a date this Friday! All and all, it was a light night, and you were in early enough to get in a few chapters of that book your sister gave you for Christmas. High five!
The Hangover: For some reason, your head is annoying the hell out of you once you get up, even though you only had two beers. You're not noticeably hung over, but you do take a couple tylenol and skip breakfast. You'll have no trouble powering through it. You're the fucking man.
LEVEL 2 -- The College Morning
The Night: The game's on at the bar tonight. Everyone's going for cheap wings, pizza, and beers. You're in a good mood--it's a big game--so you show up ready to party wearing your throwback jersey and a handful of new jokes to break out at halftime. The Giants/Yankees/Knicks/Devils/Liberty win! In celebration, you buy a round of shots for the people you're talking with. You're buzzed but get home no problem.
LEVEL 3 -- The Gold Standard
The Night: Friday night, go get plastered! You earned it! You throw on some sharp clothes, down a Four Loko, and hit up that hip new place in Hoboken with the overpriced drinks and stuck up rich girls (you know, that one). Jack and cokes until you realize you're running low--fuck it, shots! Here's my card, hand me a Corona every 15 minutes, wench! I'm gettin' sauced tonight! You dance like an idiot but wind up hooking up anyway because you're an investment banker at the firm where she's a secretary...at least that what she thinks.
The Hangover: Level 3 is the gold standard for hangovers. You pull yourself out of bed at 1 PM and down a gallon of water with a tylenol, followed by tons of coffee. You start pulling retarded hangover remedies out of your ass--like sucking on lemon slices sprinkled with salt--and even drink a beer because you think it'll help you come down easier (I swear it works). Every time you fart, your sinuses clear out. At least you haven't puked--BLEEECH...nevermind. Ahh, that's better.
LEVEL 4 -- The Ninja
The Night: "I AM GOD. Where are we? Car bombs! Jameson shots!" There was no reason for that asshole bartender to throw your crew out, you were just going behind the bar to help out! You're a fucking mess but the ridiculousness of your conversations keep people wanting to hang around you, especially that hambeast you're finger-banging on the "dance floor" (a.k.a. the empty area near the bathroom). You hit the diner for some disco fries with American cheese because "THIS IS AMERICA, NOT MOZZARELLIA!" and order some bacon for the table because you are just THAT. FUCKING. AWESOME! [BLACK OUT]
LEVEL 5 -- The Endboss
The Night: The night started out great! You were on your A game: handsome, charming, and just fun to be around. Just sometime during the night, someone must have flipped a "crazy switch" on you. Not only were you the anti-poon, but you somehow managed to cock-block anyone within a 10-yard radius of you. You start a fight with a guy, not because he's hitting on your girl but because he's hitting on a girl you're not even attracted to. [SCENE MISSING] To top it all off, you pull the fire alarm. Congratualtions, asshole, I hope you're proud of yourself!
-Teddy Broosevelt
A-HA! I'm hungover!
We've all been there. Waking up on the living room couch, feeling more or less like P. Diddy, tangled up in what seems to be a random assortment of the clothes you wore last night plus whatever blankets, magazines, and food items happened to be within reach before you finally crashed. You check your pockets: wallet. credit cards. ID. phone. keys. Drunk texts? 'Bitch, whatever! My body's intact...wish I could say the same for my reputation though.'
All's good...looks like you lived to drink another day...
Staring intensely at the pattern on the couch cushion that your face is pressed up against, you hear the soothing voice of Billy Mays for the fifth time trying to get through your thick fucking skull just how goddamn earth-shatteringly awesome Mighty Putty is. 'Do you think he OD'd on OxyClean?' you think to yourself, 'WAIT A SECOND! HOW DID I GET HOME?! I remember I drove to the bar...uh oooh...'
You jump up to check outside the window for your car, but after that first step, your head gives a nasty throb and it feels like a raccoon is trying to claw its way out of your stomach. You immediately fall to your knees in front of the TV, curling up into the fetal position, that bastard Billy Mays staring down at you condescendingly.
If only you had a way to gauge how horrible you feel right now and relate it to others! People of Earth, allow me to give that pathetic fucking existence that you like to call a 'life' some real meaning for once. Introducing: The Vince Vaughn Scale! A five-level scale of increasing intensity that will gauge exactly how fucked up your day will be, according to how fucked up you managed to get the night before. Allow the Patron Saint of Hangovers--the Marlon Brando of actors himself--Mr. Vince Vaughn to demonstrate how a MAN spends his day of recovery.
LEVEL 1 -- The Gentleman
The Hangover: For some reason, your head is annoying the hell out of you once you get up, even though you only had two beers. You're not noticeably hung over, but you do take a couple tylenol and skip breakfast. You'll have no trouble powering through it. You're the fucking man.
LEVEL 2 -- The College Morning
The Hangover: The alarm goes off...SNOOZE!...The alarm goes off again...SNOOZE!...The alarm goes off again...just let it go. Ugh, let's get started. You let out a burp that your paternal line going back four generations would be proud of and hit the toilet. Poop is made of lava! Damn wings...at least that's over with. You gag a little brushing your teeth and decide to skip shaving because the stubble looks damn good today.
LEVEL 3 -- The Gold Standard
The Hangover: Level 3 is the gold standard for hangovers. You pull yourself out of bed at 1 PM and down a gallon of water with a tylenol, followed by tons of coffee. You start pulling retarded hangover remedies out of your ass--like sucking on lemon slices sprinkled with salt--and even drink a beer because you think it'll help you come down easier (I swear it works). Every time you fart, your sinuses clear out. At least you haven't puked--BLEEECH...nevermind. Ahh, that's better.
LEVEL 4 -- The Ninja
The Hangover: You feel...great. No headache, you're stomach's fine, and all your motor skills are working. Hell, you feel more than good and might even go for a run! Still, something seems a little off. With your friends from last night, you go back to the diner. The waitresses don't say anything...but they remember you from four hours ago. Two eggs over-easy with bacon, rye toast. Yum! Suddenly, everything in the room loses its color. You know you're friends are speaking English, but you can't understand a word they're saying to you. You have reached Level 4. You rush home an sit on the toilet for an hour, everything must go! With no time to think, you have to throw up...right on your dick. You take the first legitimate bath since childhood and go back to sleep.
LEVEL 5 -- The Endboss
The Hangover: You wake up...in Belgium. You have pioneered a new kind of hangover. While you can't recall any of this, there seems to be a general consensus among your friends about your level of creepiness. If you have made it to Level 5, please let us know, the Vince Vaughn Institute for Hangover Research will name it in your honor. Remember, winding up in the hospital doesn't count, and please, drink responsibly.
-Teddy Broosevelt
Goin' H.A.M on Valentine's Day
Dear Loyal Readers of the Guy Talk 4.0 Blog,
Aaron Rodgers is officially the People‘s Champ. The Lakers are going to get Carmelo Anthony. CC Sabathia slimmed down to a cool 350lbs. That is the recap in the sports world. I’m here to talk to you about something a little more important. Valentine’s Day is around the corner.
I sincerely think that there isn’t a taken guy in the world who legitimately enjoys Valentine’s Day. For those that have significant others hear me out. Valentine’s Day definitely puts this unneeded pressure on guys to perform their boyfriend duties better than any other day of the year. The guy needs to be romantic and loving. But let’s be honest here. Why? If you hate your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day because she is being her normal bitchy girl self, why do you have to pamper her every needs. If she’s a bitch, treat her like one. Tie her in a kennel and give her a bowl of water. That’s a little harsh, but you guys get the point. Isn’t it more wrong to be fake one day a year to get some taint than to be real like every other day of the year?
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love and happiness right? But what makes a guy happier? Spending 100 bucks on some stupid dinner at a nice restaurant or getting two $5 boxes from Taco Bell. It rocks, it rocks. What does a guy love more? The girlfriend who just needs that expensive piece of jewelry or a fuckin’ 6 pack? The main reason guys go through all this trouble on Valentine’s Day is in hope that the sex is better than normal that night. Let’s get real though does the girlfriend really need those extra chocolates for her to perform any better? And does the guy really need this made up holiday to get the sex that he probably deserves for puttin’ up with her bullshit every day anyway?
Now, the single guys look at Valentine’s Day totally differently. It’s the perfect day to go out there and look for some strange ass. The single girls may not always say it, but Valentine’s Day is the one day a year where they are looking to get laid more than men. If you’re not much of a looker, Valentine’s Day is the day to put down your latest edition of Dungeons and Dragons, shut off your newest level of World of Warcraft, and get out to the bars because tonight…its like fishing with dynamite.
Single girls on Valentine’s Day are desperate and depressed because they need that fake sense of happiness that couples have on Valentine’s Day. The only way a girl is more horny or desperate is if they just got done watchin’ The Notebook alone with a pint of Edy’s Mint Chocolate Chip. Guys it’s the perfect time to strike. Give them some bullshit line about how you really want a Valentine or something and they’ll be in your bed quicker than you can say “Trojan Man”.
Guys understand all these little tidbits of Valentine’s Day, but girls stop reading Cosmo and listen to me. It’s alright for one day a year to act like you really always want to act. Like a gigantic slut. If your boyfriend is doing everything right on Valentine’s Day do something crazy and special for him at night because trust me that’s the only reason why he’s trying so hard in the first place. If you’re a single girl, go out, wear your skimpiest dress, go H.A.M. on the dance floor, drink shots all night and go home with the first guy that decides to talk to your sloppy ass.
I think I speak for every man in the world when I say that I hope all you girls out there take my advice and enjoy Valentine's Day to it's fullest.
Sincerely,
The Love Machine
Aaron Rodgers is officially the People‘s Champ. The Lakers are going to get Carmelo Anthony. CC Sabathia slimmed down to a cool 350lbs. That is the recap in the sports world. I’m here to talk to you about something a little more important. Valentine’s Day is around the corner.
I sincerely think that there isn’t a taken guy in the world who legitimately enjoys Valentine’s Day. For those that have significant others hear me out. Valentine’s Day definitely puts this unneeded pressure on guys to perform their boyfriend duties better than any other day of the year. The guy needs to be romantic and loving. But let’s be honest here. Why? If you hate your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day because she is being her normal bitchy girl self, why do you have to pamper her every needs. If she’s a bitch, treat her like one. Tie her in a kennel and give her a bowl of water. That’s a little harsh, but you guys get the point. Isn’t it more wrong to be fake one day a year to get some taint than to be real like every other day of the year?
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love and happiness right? But what makes a guy happier? Spending 100 bucks on some stupid dinner at a nice restaurant or getting two $5 boxes from Taco Bell. It rocks, it rocks. What does a guy love more? The girlfriend who just needs that expensive piece of jewelry or a fuckin’ 6 pack? The main reason guys go through all this trouble on Valentine’s Day is in hope that the sex is better than normal that night. Let’s get real though does the girlfriend really need those extra chocolates for her to perform any better? And does the guy really need this made up holiday to get the sex that he probably deserves for puttin’ up with her bullshit every day anyway?
Now, the single guys look at Valentine’s Day totally differently. It’s the perfect day to go out there and look for some strange ass. The single girls may not always say it, but Valentine’s Day is the one day a year where they are looking to get laid more than men. If you’re not much of a looker, Valentine’s Day is the day to put down your latest edition of Dungeons and Dragons, shut off your newest level of World of Warcraft, and get out to the bars because tonight…its like fishing with dynamite.
Single girls on Valentine’s Day are desperate and depressed because they need that fake sense of happiness that couples have on Valentine’s Day. The only way a girl is more horny or desperate is if they just got done watchin’ The Notebook alone with a pint of Edy’s Mint Chocolate Chip. Guys it’s the perfect time to strike. Give them some bullshit line about how you really want a Valentine or something and they’ll be in your bed quicker than you can say “Trojan Man”.
Guys understand all these little tidbits of Valentine’s Day, but girls stop reading Cosmo and listen to me. It’s alright for one day a year to act like you really always want to act. Like a gigantic slut. If your boyfriend is doing everything right on Valentine’s Day do something crazy and special for him at night because trust me that’s the only reason why he’s trying so hard in the first place. If you’re a single girl, go out, wear your skimpiest dress, go H.A.M. on the dance floor, drink shots all night and go home with the first guy that decides to talk to your sloppy ass.
I think I speak for every man in the world when I say that I hope all you girls out there take my advice and enjoy Valentine's Day to it's fullest.
Sincerely,
The Love Machine
Monday, February 7, 2011
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